Homeward Bound, part II

After 5 trips to a travel agency with no door, I was finally able to switch my flight so I don't have to spend the night in the airport. Yea! So I will be back July 31st at 4:05 p.m., if all goes as planned. Stacy is picking me up at the airport, and I will (hopefully) have my cell phone on if you want to reach me.

Here are some things that I will be very happy to encounter when I get home
-friends and family (naturally)
-forks
-food not made with rice
-a real shower
I could go on, but those are the biggies.

I think it is a little premature to wax philosophical about The Things I Learned in India, but there are some things that make a little more sense to me, and even more questions to wrestle with. Someone in Bangalore asked me why I decided to go on this trip, and I dodn't have a quick answer. I was tempted to reply, "Why, I possess a social awareness that impells to action!", but it's not that simple. What's important is that I came. And that I'm glad I did.

Being here has reinforced some things that i already knew. Having so much time with no t.v. or phone has given me time to think about things that have been perkelating in my mind for a long time. Like that I am such a lucky duck in so many areas of my life. And that I really do miss doing grown-up theatre.

This may be the thousandth time I've said this, but I believe, now more than ever, that we all share a common humanity that we cannot ignore. Something I've stopped believing is that everything happens for a reason. I used to believe this, but some things happened this year that make me wonder. I don't think this makes me jaded, though, or believe in God any less. Because if everything dosen't happen for a reason as a part of some grand plan, then we have the power to infuse every moment and interaction with something real and whole. When you think about it, that's kind of a dizzying and awesome power we have; to put a part of ourselves in all of the people and situations around us, and to be molded by others at the same time. It's a great responsibility, and one to be taken seriously.

Luckily, whenever I start to think that I'm figuring things aout just a little bit, some great author throws me a curveball. This time, it was Thomas Merton. I was reading the New Seeds of Contemplation, which Kerri, understandably, thinks looks like the most boring book ever written. I borrowed the book from my grandma, and was enjoying flipping through and reading all of her sassy comments in the margins, when something stuck out at me. He writes that we can wind outselves in all sorts of experiences, (like, I don't know...going to rural India), but those experiences aren't a substitute for a good hard look at your interior life. Your experiences surround you in a very meaningful way, but they don't make up the whole of who you are. And that is a very humbling thought.

Enough rambling. I hope everyone is well, and I will see you SOON!

-Cynthia

Homeward Bound

I'm writing this from an internet cafe in Bangalore, about a 5 hour train ride from Pannai. It is a fun city, even though it is very westernized. We are staying in a hostle and it reminds me alot of the whole Rome Budget Travel experience, which was amazing. The train ride was nutso, but I've learned to expect that from this country (I say this with love).

Kerri's friend Liezbeth vistited the orphanage all last week. She is on vacation from her Peace Corps assignment in Thiland. She is a very fun girl and it was nice to have someone else to hang out with for a while. We went to a little village and went walking in rural aggriculture fields and I milked a cow. I asked her a ton of questions about what the peace corps is like. I can't imaginge being gone for 27 months, but I think it would be an amazing experience. Some other time.

It seems very, very strange that I head home in a week. On a logistical note, I am trying to change my flight home to July 31st(4:05 p.m.) instead of Aug. 1st (3:00 p.m.) because Kerri's flight is the 31st and I don't want to hang out in Chennai with all my luggage for a day by myself. If I can change the flight, I will be back on the 31st. If anyone can pick me up from the airport on either of those days, please let me know. I will try to update once more if I can. Also, if you wrote me an e-mail last week and I didn't respond, it's because my AOL account deleted a bunch of messages i didn't read, so please send it again and I'll get back to you. Thanks!

Boop!

Sorry it's been a while since my last post. I'll try to catch everyone up with this one. It's been over a month since I came, and I have 2 weeks to go. My feelings about being here have existed on sort of a v-curve so far. On one side, I am getting more and more comfortable here and getting very attached to the children. Simulatanioulsy, I miss home and everyone there more and more as more time goes by.

Kerri and I went to a little seaside town called Mahilibalipurum last weekend. There is a nice beach there on the Bay of Bangal (India Ocean) and some old Hindu cave temples that were really impressive. We watched the World Cup final in a little reataurant and had a great time.

The bad part was that is a a tourist town, so we got harrased by some monkeys (seriously) and some local men. We stayed safe, though. When things got shady, I thought of some great advice our friend Jay gave Hannah, Megan D. and I. We were little activist babies on our way to our first big protest in Georgia and were discussing what to do if we had a run-un with any military police. He looked us dead in the eye and said, "If all else fails, RUN!". Luckily, our trip didn't usually require that.

Things back at Pannai are going well. We have had 3 new kids come in the past 2 weeks or so. It is always exciting when a new kid comes, but I can't help but think of the other side of things. That there is a mother somewhere who's circumstances are so desperate that she has to give her child away. We had a 10 month old girl, Anita, come the other day and it occured to me that she wil have no memory of her bioliogical family at all. There must come a point in for all of the kids when they realize that not everyone lives in a place like this, that some of them have houses and families. Although life here is very simple and often difficult, it is much better than for many people in the nearby villages that I have seen.

It's frustrating because the work we are doing here isn't anything you can really measure. I'm so used to living in a world of syllabi and evaluations that this is a difficult concept to accept. I guess all I can do is try to show them love and acceptance and trust that it might mean something to them. I hope everything is going well for all of you!

I'm never eating rice again,
Cynthia

frown

Not gonna lie...this has been a rough couple of days. One of the older girls had to leave because they said that her grades weren't good enough. I know there are plenty of things that I don't understand about this culture and this place, but it seems like a bad idea to give a child back to the people who gave her up 14 years ago. They give a lot of lip service to forgiving the kids when they mess up, but this does not seem to be happening in this case.

Working at the school has also been a challenge. I love doing it, but the kids have figured out that we aren't going to go crazy yelling at them or threaten them with a stick, which is a good thing. But it also means that they don't listen like they would for a regular teacher. I can tell that they are opening up to me more though, and that is a very good feeling.

Kerri and I are going to a small town called Mahilibupurum for the weekend, so that should be a nice break.

This has been a good few days. We (Kerri and I) went to the director's house in the city to hang out with his family for a while and we ended up spending the night because Kerri wanted to watch the world cup game and it went pretty late. Thier whole family was rooting for England to win, but I felt it was wrong somehow to be cheering for England while staying in India. So I cheered for Portugal, who ended up winning. At any rate, it was a nice little break from orphanage life (and food).

I have been spending lots of time with the Lower Kindergarden teacher, because she nowhas 54 kids to teach all day. That's not a typo...I said 54. This is a huge class for anyone, but when you're talking about 2-4 year olds, it can get pretty messy. But I have been doing stories and rhymes with them and it's going pretty well.

Yesterday was a day where parents can come visit thier kids for a little while (not all of the kids here are orphans...some of thier parents bring them here if they can't afford to keep them). It is pretty hard on all of the children, because the parents who do come have to say goodbye after a little while. The kids whose parents don't come (the majority) have to watch all of the other kids with thier families. I cannot imagine how hard this is for them. So I tried to give all of them lots of attention.

Just FYI-I got an actual letter today (thanks, Marri!) and it only costs 39 cents to mail! I love getting mail! It makes me so happy...don't you want me to be happy? :)

Have a great 4th of July!

-Cynthia